My Voice, My Heart, My Life

Today during devotions I read Judges 3:31. One verse dedicated to a man named Shamgar. "After him came Shamgar the son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad; and he also saved Israel."(Judges 3:31) Twenty-two words telling it straight of how God used Shamgar. This is the first time I read or focused on this verse. I began to wonder who is Shamgar. What can I learn from this individual and what is a an oxgoad? So I did a little digging. First let's take a quick look at the book of Judges. Basically the book of Judges accounts the various activities of Judges who delivered and had authority in Israel after the death of Joshua. Now Joshua had defeated the main forces of the opposition and led Israel into Canaan and divided the lands to the various tribes. Before his death he warned Israel to not mix or intermarry with the local people. Stay away from their foreign gods and keep your eye on the true God. But Israel disobeyed. Which began a p...

Heavenly Father, Thank you for your wonderful love, grace and mercy. You have been my constant, my rock and my refugee. You have guided my path into directions I never would have thought to go. Lord, recently I have been questioning my desire to continue in the path I find myself. Is this restlessness from you? Is it God given? Do you have another path you want me to take? Father I ask for insight. Lord guide me. Father light the path you want me to take. Show me without a shadow of a doubt the directions/steps to take. Father, I rebuke any unnecessary fear that I may feel in whatever you ask me to do. If this fear is coming from the enemy, erase it and feel it withe courage and faith. Guard my heart and mind, Lord. Lord, I'm also asking for a miracle. Scott and I, for 10 years now, have this desire to have children. Lord bless us with a child. I'm being pushy now, Bless us with children! Lord, cover these children with your love, mercy and grace. Lord perform a MIRA...

This past week in Kindergarten we did a unit on insects. We talked about the characteristics of an insect, what they eat, where they live, all the essentials. We also ordered caterpillars so the students could see one of natures most beautiful transformations. It gives them a close encounter with a miracle they normally wouldn't see. A chance to experience a life transformed.   We all know that the life cycle of a butterfly is from egg, caterpillar, chrysalis then butterfly. Four stages of existences. We've also heard the comparison of butterflies to being born again. But if you're like me then you thought the comparison was fitting but didn't really think about what it meant. What process entails when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly? What's the big deal? I searched through YouTube to find a video to show my student the process. I found one that impacted me. I had seen videos like this before but I guess just never appreciated what I was seeing and how i...

Life has been full of a few good, some stressful and others just plain crazy moments.  I have been so spent and worn down that I've felt that I've had nothing good to write about. I've had no inspiration. I couldn't think of anything. I just couldn't gather my thoughts and put pen to paper, so to speak. Ultimately, I had no desire to write. A grey cloud of doubt, fear, worry, anxiety and stress have followed me where I go. It penetrated all areas of life. I was searching for peace amongst the chaos, to no avail. I moved one way, the chaos followed.  I moved another way the grey cloud meet me there. Peace and rest were no where to be found. The mental drain affected my everyday activities. Everything just felt more overwhelming. I was extremely tried and restless. I was at my whit's end.  I knew what I had to do, but I just didn't have the energy or will. I knew the hole of misery was deep when I stopped posting scripture. I know that sounds like a simpl...

A couple of days ago we learned that Lee Thompson Young, 29, took his own life. If you're not familiar with him he was a Disney kid star in Jett Jackson and more recently played Lt. Frost on Rizzoli and Isles. He was handsome, good at his craft, got paid well, wore the designer labels and was very charismatic. In the world of Hollywood he was on track to hit it big. By the world's standard he had no reason to take his life. In the eyes of the world he seem to have it all. A month ago, one of the stars from Glee, Cory Monteith, 31, passed from an overdose. He had recognition, talent, money and an aspiring career. Outwardly he seemed to have everything, yet he felt empty. There are countless stories of these young stars dying by their own hand intentionally or not. Amy Winehouse (28), Kurt Cobain (27), Heath Ledger (29) , Gia Allemand (29) just to name a few. Each was at the height of their trade yet felt empty. Why? With everything they had why did they need an escape? ...

The silence has been broken. The sound of children has graced these quiet halls. The first day of school has arrived. The first day is always an exciting and stressful day for both student and teacher alike. Beginning anew is refreshing. The actions and words of the past are just that, in the past. It's a new chance to start over. The board is wiped clean and is ready to write a new story. It's exciting! A new chapter will be written. A chapter full of adventure, learning, joy, mystery, sadness, joy, laughter and all the emotions in between. Yes, a new school year brings much hope! With that hope there are dreams that one has for their students. You want them to succeed in this life. You want to provide the necessary skills and common sense to venture into this life with wisdom and discernment. You want them to take caution but not at the expense of adventure. You want them to think outside the box and yet not to abandon those things that are tried and true. Yes, as a teac...

I found the picture above while scrolling Facebook. It stopped me in my tracks. It was so convicting! Simple yet poignant. I added the question to the picture, which was the caption it was given on FB. "Have You Eaten Today?" It was a spiritual stomach punch. We live our lives knowing that we have to eat physical food. Without food our bodies will being to deteriorate and stop functioning. Without food and water we could cease to exist. It doesn't happen quickly, no it's a subtle change. We skip a meal here and there. Our body feels a little tired but nothing significant. We start skipping more meals consecutively, then our body wires down faster but still works because we're drinking lots of water. Then we stop eating all together yet still drinking water. Our body starts feasting on itself trying everything possible to stay alive. Then the water runs out and within a few days all that's left is a lifeless deformed shell. The same is true in our spiritu...

 National Day of   Prayer 2013  Pastor Greg Laurie  "Father, we come to You to pray for our nation, the United States of America. How You have blessed us through the years, Lord! We rightly sing, “America, America, God shed His grace on thee.” Yet we see trouble in our culture today. We see the breakdown of the family, crippling addictions, and random acts of horrific violence. Lord, we need Your help in America. In recent days, we have done our best to remove Your Word and Your counsel from our courtrooms, classrooms and culture. It seems, as President Lincoln once said, that we have “forgotten God.” But Lord, You have not forgotten us! You can bless and help and revive our country again. Scripture tells us that “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs14:34). Lord, in Your mercy, we ask that You would exalt our country again. We have had a number of great awakenings in America. We have experienced times ...

This year I was blessed with 17 little ones that have brought joy, frustration, laughter, stress and constant surprises into my life. Each one has left an imprint in my heart. With only two months left of instruction bittersweet emotions has begun to surface. It is the price we paid as teachers. We pour so much of ourselves for 9 months that it's hard not to feel a little empty at the end of the year. Like with any class there are some students that have required more attention and redirection than most. That certainly has been true this year. One boy in particular. I'll call him "Derek." Derek is a typical boy with unending energy who doesn't know when to quit. He also had a problem with anger. At the beginning of the year he would get angry when he didn't get his way, especially on the playground.  His remedy was to hit the offender. He spent much of his time in the principal's office. I spent time with him talking him through the anger and gave ...

  Today is International Women's Day. International Women's Day has been observed since in the early 1900's. Since that time Women have tirelessly fought for economic, political and social equality. This celebration has extended from USA & Europe to include women from different regions were the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women's economic, political and social achievements. The date of this celebration has varied through countries. In 1913, Russia on the eve of World War I campaigning for peace, Russian women observed their first International Women's Day on the last Sunday in February 1913. In 1913 following discussions, International Women's Day was transferred to March 8 and this day has remained the global date for International Women's Day ever since. I want to single out Russia for a moment. Russia has made International Women's Da...

I came across a documentary, on Netflix, made by 4 christian college students (boys) who traveled to Europe to understand & confirm what they believe. The outcome of this journey was "Beware of Christians." The quote that begins the documentary is by Brennan Manning, "The single greatest cause of atheism today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and deny Him by their lifestyle." This a perfect set up to their message, "Beware of Christians." This is the trip Mission Statement: "Sometimes it's tough to see where Jesus fits in Christianity. This film follows 4 college Christians who travel to Europe to escape the routine of American Christianity. Along the way they will examine every-day Christian habit in comparison with Jesus actual teachings. This is a story about replacing religion and comfort with relationship and truth. How can we get past a label and take on a lifestyle? What happens when we give up o...

There is a song by the group Lady Antebellum called "Run to You." The song imparts a lot of truth of everyday life. Even though it's essentially a love song, it's amazing how we can adapt it to our relationship with God. I changed a few words or phrases (noted in paraphrases) here in there to serve my point but the main message remains the same.  Here in this world when trouble comes I Run to You (God).   "I run from hate, I run from prejudice I run from pessimists, but I run too late     I run my life or is it running me, run from my past I run too fast or too slow it seems When lies become the truth That's when I run to you" We know the things we should do or stay away form. We know to protect our hearts from hate & prejudice. We know that we have hope through Jesus Christ. Yet there are times when we feel weak and discouraged. We feel controlled by this fallen world who insists on reliving our sinful past. The lies whispered into...

  Beloved,     Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. (1 Peter 1:3) The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"(Lamentations 3:22-24 )     Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. (Psalm 37:7) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) Let us hold uns...

So this has been a long week. The school schedule has been normal, lots to do with not a lot of time, adding on top this Scrooge schedule has drained me. I enjoy it but by Sunday I'm dragging my feet. I woke up feeling a bit sick, coughing and just plain exhausted. I sat on the couch debating "Should I not go to church today. I could use the rest? I don't why we think its okay to miss church if we're feeling tried or just don't feel like it. We justify it to ourselves someway and say God will forgive me. Well I got and got ready, because I knew I would benefit even if my body was fighting me. Today at my church we had our Christmas Potluck. When we walked into the church I was so taken back. They had decorated the space with tables and decorations. All set up for a communal lunch. The centerpieces on the table were colorful and the walls had snowman decorations. The advent candle stood front in center. We walked in when worship had started so we got the whole p...

Yesterday was the last session for my "Be Still" bible study. It was a great study and very personal. It brought face to face many of the things that get in the way and what we allow to get in the way of being still in the Lord. One of the main themes that really impacted me was about trust. I came to realize and admit that I only give certain things to God and keep some for myself. Instead of releasing all to the Lord I insist on holding on to those things I think I can handle or am afraid to let go. And I wonder why I stress about stuff. Duh! I keep holding myself back. I've been facing this ugly truth about myself for the last few months. It hasn't been fun and I've fought it a bit. I also realized that when I mistrust God, I sin. Intense. I want to let go and trust, but do I really? I figured if I'm still holding on, its because I don't completely trust and don't really want to try. Fear creeps in and tells me if you let this one go you may no...

Today I returned to work after a four day holiday, wishing I had just one more day. One more day of memories.  We had a really good time at my Aunt's for Thanksgiving. It had been a while since we had gathered as a whole family (Dad's side) to celebrate a holiday. The last time I remember was when we were little and it would be a weekend sleepover. It was nice to see my cousins and catch up with them. Time doesn't seem to exist when we get together. We could talk all night and not even notice. It was a great time of food and family.  Black Friday, or the day after Thanksgiving, was nice and quite for us. We did step out to do a little shopping but after the madness had passed. My hubby and I did a little window shopping and then real shopping at Target. It was nice to be able to hang out with him and just spend time outside of our house. Even the simple things, like mall cruising, can mean so much because you are together. We enjoyed the rest of the day just being t...

Happy Thanksgiving to all!  "My the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26 I am very blessed to work at a Christian School. Each morning the teachers gather together to spend time in God's word and prayer. These devotional times give us the opportunity to learn from each other, share our burdens and praises, to share what the Lord is teaching us, ultimately to build up and encourage each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. One of my close friends had devotions for this week and she handed out a Thanksgiving "Mad Lib" of sorts. This Mad Lib is not meant to give us a chuckle but to thoughtfully consider what are you truly thankful for? Below is the Thanksgiving Lib she created. I've filled in my blanks , my responses are in between the slashes (/).  I challenge you to go through this list and answer the question, "What a...

I wanted to share a couple of stories about God's presence, grace and strength. These past few weeks have been very trying for a close friend of mine. Her husband had to be rushed to the hospital. He had an appendicitis. Though this surgery is routinely done it doesn't mean it is not without risk. After he was released instead of improving he got worse. It had turned out that an infection had set in causing high fevers, chills, weakness and pale skin. He was in a terrible state. Along with the stressfulness of this situation those hospital bills where piling up. She has become his caretaker for the last few weeks. She has had to balance being with her husband and taking care of her 2 kids. One would think that with all of this mounted upon her shoulders, she would collapse and crumble. But the complete opposite is true. She stayed strong, optimistic and encouraged. We held them up in prayer and did what we could. She held on to the Lord and he granted her the grace and s...

Father God,       Let me start by expressing my greatest gratitude for giving me life. Thank you for granting me that opportunity. Thank you for laying out a plan for my life. Thank you taking me through it step by step. Thank you for your love, mercy, faithfulness and amazing grace. Thank you for the people that you've put in my path. Thank you for those who caused me pain because they brought me closer to you. Thank you for those that have brought me joy for they are a reminder of your love. Thank you for leaving the 99 to seek me out when I stray. Thank you for your discipline that is delivered in love. Thank you for my family. Thank you for the my godly parents, for they have guided me to you. Thank you for my brothers who daily reflect the meaning of loyalty and devotion. Thank you for my husband who allows me to be myself. Thank you for creating someone for me. Thank you for my dear friends. They have been a daily encouragement and a shower of love. Thank you ...