My Voice, My Heart, My Life

I'm a big Star Trek fan. I've enjoyed almost ever incarnation of this Sci-Fi giant. Recently my husband and I have been watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. One of the enemies for this particular series are the Jem'Hadar. These creatures are genetically engineered for battle and controlled through a drug called ketracel-white; which they require to function properly. Their mantra is "Obedience brings Victory. And Victory is Life." Every time they say this, I cringe. They are following orders from people who don't care for them and whose only goal is their own survival. I always felt it was such a terrible mantra. But today I had a revelation.  During today's sermon, my pastor was going over John 10, The Good Shepherd. One of his points was how do we ensure that we can hear our Good Shepherd's (Jesus) voice. We need to read His word, meditate in His word, memorize His word and obey  His word. Through obeying His word & voice we find life....

Life has been full of a few good, some stressful and others just plain crazy moments.  I have been so spent and worn down that I've felt that I've had nothing good to write about. I've had no inspiration. I couldn't think of anything. I just couldn't gather my thoughts and put pen to paper, so to speak. Ultimately, I had no desire to write. A grey cloud of doubt, fear, worry, anxiety and stress have followed me where I go. It penetrated all areas of life. I was searching for peace amongst the chaos, to no avail. I moved one way, the chaos followed.  I moved another way the grey cloud meet me there. Peace and rest were no where to be found. The mental drain affected my everyday activities. Everything just felt more overwhelming. I was extremely tried and restless. I was at my whit's end.  I knew what I had to do, but I just didn't have the energy or will. I knew the hole of misery was deep when I stopped posting scripture. I know that sounds like a simpl...