My Voice, My Heart, My Life

To be completely honest I did not want to come back to work. I just wasn't ready. The prior school year was ridiculously stressful for various reasons and I just didn't feel motivated to start. I didn't know if I could face another stressful year. I loved my students, there were just a few that drained me on a daily basis.  I wasn't optimist about my classroom dynamics and was bracing myself for the worst. The past has a way of cautioning you for the future. Sometimes that's good while other times, as in my case, just rob you of your joy. Orientation week went as usually. Meetings, work in class, meetings, work in class, lunch and so on. On Back to School Night I was a bit nervous but not like normal. I was an eerie calm, almost apathetic. I had already assumed the worst and was ready to face my fate. I meet the kids and the parents and it was all good. I'm thinking, this means nothing crazy is just around the corner. First day of school. Normally for k...

Field trips are awesome. It's a great time to learn outside the classroom. The kids get to see what we teach them makes sense and is necessary. Today was the last field trip of the year for kindergarten. We spent the day at the San Francisco Zoo. We were a little concerned about the weather, because when we left school it was pretty windy and foggy. But when we got there the fog had lifted a bit and the wind became a whisper. Field trips are especially nice for us teachers, because our lovely parent volunteers take charge of the kids for the day. We don't have a group of our own and are free for any emergencies. It nice to not be "on" for a day. Whenever we have gone to the zoo two things have always been true. One, the zoo is packed. Two, the animals are lethargic or sleeping. Today that is no longer the truth. For a Friday, the zoo was pretty empty. A few school groups where there but everyone had enough space to wander around. The animals also were awake an...

We officially have 24 days or 18 school days left, but who's counting. This will be the earliest that we have ever closed for school. Which means that I will have 2 FULL months of summer off. It's a wonderful thing. At different points in the year it felt as if time stood still and the bird stopped singing. There were days when you couldn't keep up and wished for a few hours more. The school year sense of time is certainly a consistent inconsistency. I look back at the past 9 months and I can't believe we are in our final month. It's a bittersweet moment. The end of this year also marks graduation for our 8th graders. These preteens where my first students ever as a teacher. So I had the pleasure to see them grow from cutie rugrats to beautiful/handsome young ladies and gentlemen. I'm still in awe that next year they're high school freshman. It's hard to fathom. As I see my kindergarten students now, knowing that one day I will be able to say th...

This year I was blessed with 17 little ones that have brought joy, frustration, laughter, stress and constant surprises into my life. Each one has left an imprint in my heart. With only two months left of instruction bittersweet emotions has begun to surface. It is the price we paid as teachers. We pour so much of ourselves for 9 months that it's hard not to feel a little empty at the end of the year. Like with any class there are some students that have required more attention and redirection than most. That certainly has been true this year. One boy in particular. I'll call him "Derek." Derek is a typical boy with unending energy who doesn't know when to quit. He also had a problem with anger. At the beginning of the year he would get angry when he didn't get his way, especially on the playground.  His remedy was to hit the offender. He spent much of his time in the principal's office. I spent time with him talking him through the anger and gave ...

 A dear friend sent me this poem written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA It's a beautiful tribute to the precious children lost in Sandy Hook Elementary. Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through Heaven's gate. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there... They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say. They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day. "Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. "This is heaven," declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house." When what to their wondering eyes did appear but Jesus, their Savior; the children gathered near. He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name. And in that moment was joy that only Heaven can bring. Those children all ...

I heard this letter read on KLOVE, a christian radio station, and found it comforting. From Pastor Ray (Bayside Church): Today is a heartbreaking day. Our nation experienced the second worst school shooting in American history. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families and everyone affected by this senseless tragedy. I, like all Americans, am devastated. During tragic times like this there is inevitably a mad scramble for CLARITY. How could this happen? Why would a good and loving God let this happen? Who's to blame for this senseless violence? The problem – Shallow Christian clichés fall short and ultimately Clarity never comes…because at best, we see ‘through a glass dimly…' During times like this we think we need Clarity when we really need is Certainty. • I am certain that this senseless act breaks the heart of God because… I am certain that God understands what it means to lose a son. • I am certain that every one of todays victims ...