My Voice, My Heart, My Life

For you Mami: You Took My Hand When I was child you took my hand You lead me down a narrow path All the while assuring me it is grand My little heart trusting you since hath When I was a preteen you took my hand Guiding the choices I would make Keeping me away from sifting sand Never once did you forsake When I was a teenager you took my hand Showing me what lies ahead Telling me the importance of taking a stand Reminding me of the Red that was shed When I was a young adult you took my hand Trusting me to follow the road Praying continually that my faith expand Having your love overflowed Now as an adult you take my hand Sharing wisdom, blessings and Living water Praying together hand in hand Enjoying the journey of mother and daughter

Today is my handsome husband's birthday! It has been a great joy to spend his past 7 birthday's with him. He is so opposite of me, in more ways then one, when it comes to birthdays. He doesn't like the big party or celebration. It tends to go the quiet route. A nice dinner with family and a piece of pie, not cake he doesn't like cake. I like to celebrate a birthday week and he can take it or leave it. Well now that he's married to me I make sure he makes his day or week special. So I begin with a poem for my Scott. I love you my Scott You are very hot I will let you play on Xbox Just watch the clock I will love you here and there I will love you everywhere I will love you in the rain I will love you in Spain (hint,hint) I love you when you're mad I love you when you're sad I love you just as you are Now come and open this jar Scott I hope you enjoyed my hand at Dr. Seuss, I know how much you love him. I pray your day is great! I pray your

As far as I can remember I have always struggled with my weight. When I was younger it became an issue of, I need to be pencil thin. I wanted to look like the magazines. I fortunately enjoyed eating too much that anorexia and bulimia didn't take hold of me. However my self-esteem took a beaten. I grow up telling myself that I was ugly and fat. That's why people don't like me. Why would anyone want to hang out with someone like me. Now all of this was going on the inside. Looking at me you couldn't tell that it was an issue. In high school my body began to change and it adjusted itself a bit but I was still not pencil thin. I would hear a voice in my head say if you where thinner you would be pretty. I thank God for San Francisco Christian School. If I wasn't there I don't know the direction I would have taken. I learned so much about God. Along with other things, I learned about His love and acceptance of us. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.(Psalm 139:14)

A few years back San Francisco lost Palace Steak House which in my opinion was one of the best steakhouses in the city. You got good food for a very reasonable price. My family had been going there for years. It was our family's steakhouse. But sadly the owners retired and they had to close their doors. Since then we(my brothers & I) have been in search of the perfect steak sandwich like the one we grew up with. But to no avail. It was quite depressing. The sandwich was so specific. It was made with a very special flat french garlic bread that is difficult to replicate even at home. The bread is them slather with mayo and in between they place a perfectly cooked steak. That's it. No fuss just simple but GOOD. Along side you would get a salad and a baked potato for $8-$10. So you can see why we were in search for a replacement. About a month ago there was a glimmer of hope. We heard that Palace Steak House was being reopened. They we're keeping the same name and it wou

Inspired by my little rugrats : ) When the whistle blows I give out a great sigh I can't believe the time has gone by When the whistle blows All must freeze their play I rather run in the sun's ray When the whistle blows My friends run to the line I chose to stay behind When the whistle blows I take one long last look It's time to get back to the books When the whistle blows My teacher comes to take us inside Remembering it's time for lunch is the upside - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I want to take time to honor the memory of those who lost their lives 1 year ago & 10 years ago along with those who were left to feel the pain of loss and destruction. One year ago on September 9th San Bruno experienced a great tragedy. At 6:11p.m. a gas line erupted in the Glenview area. The gas turned into mile high flames. Being fed by the gas the blaze quickly grew and engulfed 35 houses and took 8 lives. I was at work at the time which is about .8 miles from the fire. I heard what sounded like a plane in distress then felt the ground shake as the pipe burst into massive flames. The heat from the fire was intense to say the least. Many of us stood in shock seeing our neighbors' home disappear. It took 60 to 90 minutes to shut off the gas after the explosion. Eleven of those homes lost belong to families of our church & school. A year later many are rebuilding. Healing has come to some however not to all. I pray that the Lord send His healing and that those in pain

Beauty has always been a big part of our culture. It has been an obsession for generations. Each generation having their own definition. For one to find the definition our present generation has chosen, one only look at a magazine cover. Size 0 models whose pictures have been altered to mimic perfection. These images are being ingrained into the minds of our young girls. They think that if they don't look like that then they're ugly, causing them to try to live up to a fantasy. It breaks my heart that these girls are growing with low self esteem and feel so defeated. It's hard to think that these images are not normal. Everywhere you see an advertisement it pictures someone's airbrushed body. I know what it is to feel ugly. I didn't grow up having a size 0 body, far from it. Once I became a teenager I started to skip meals and start telling myself that I wasn't worth it. There were times I would cry myself to sleep because all the other girls where thin, prett

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John15:13 This verse has such a beautiful truth. Jesus lay down His life for us, His friends. Knowing that Jesus sees us as a friend is amazing. I feel so undeserving yet so grateful. This morning I felt very burdened. There was a sadness surrounding me. I wasn't sure where it was coming from. I felt defeated. I got to work and I felt like a zombie. I sat in a meeting but wasn't really there. I went to my classroom and tried to do some work. It was as if I was on auto pilot. This gray cloud hung over me for most of the early morning. Then we had chapel. Worshiping God is indescribably. It washes over me like nothing else. It put a pep back into my spirit. It was refreshing! We sang about trading my sorrows for the joy of the Lord. I felt that. Those sorrows that were following me I traded them in for God's great joy. After chapel I began humming: How deep the Father's love

Today was picture day. Parents take extra care to make sure their children look more than presentable. Teachers and staff look extra beautiful or handsome. Everyone is taking note on how they appear. Putting their best face forward. These pictures will forever be part of the school's history. Years from now these pictures will be available for all to see. This morning before coming to work I took extra time to put on make-up. I typically don't wear make-up. I just never got into the routine of it. As I was standing in front of the mirror I started to chuckle. Here I am putting make-up to take a picture that when seen by strangers will think I look like this all the time. I wasn't representing my everyday appearance. I was putting up a "better" version of myself. Covering blemishes, wrinkles(I can't believe I've reached the age of wrinkles!), dark circles and anything that is imperfect. I started to think about how I can be that way in my Christian walk.

Boot Camp - to participate in a rigidly structured routine. That is what the first week of school tends to be. Making sure the routine is ingrained into our minds and our students. It's a new group of kids, a new schedule, new personalities and new beginnings. Each year brings a freshness. The past is left behind and the future lies ahead. The first couple of weeks is a time to laid down the foundation. You set the rules, expectations and the rhythm of the day. Just like boot camp, we as teachers have the job to prepare them so they can have a successful year. There is a lot to learn and a lot to become familiar with especially in Kindergarten. It's a whole new world for them. There is more independence. They get to go to the restroom alone instead of in groups, they bring their own lunches, they have their own lockers, responsible for their own sweaters & jackets and soon will begin doing homework. It's a world of excitement and uncertainty but it's worth the j

I just finished watching the movie "The Help" and it left me a little melancholy. The movie was great and so was the book, read first and watch after, but something about this era in our history always seems to put me in this mood. If you're unaware of what the story is about to put it simple its a fictional story from the perspective of the help in Mississippi during the 1960s. Twelve maids and one white journalist collaborate together to put out a book anonymously about working for the white families in hopes of raising the consciousness of their backyard. The road was not easy but they gained strength and encouragement from each other along the way. What they were doing was illegal. Prison or death was a real possibility, I can't fathom that. These woman had the courage to speak truth when truth was being ignored. The Civil Rights movement was such an essential and powerful time in our country. Death followed many who proclaimed equality. The country was in chaos

I'm a big dramatic arts fan, in other words I enjoy TV and movies a lot. I love getting lost in the stories and connecting to the characters. There isn't a genre I don't like, although I don't like everything in that genre. Netflix is one of my favorite things. A dvd store that comes to me, brilliant! Not only can I get DVDs in the mail but I can stream, instant watching, which is convenient and addicting. The newest thing on my Netflix instant queue is Harper's Island, a one time series of 13 episodes. Think of it as an extended mini-series. If you like Agatha Christie and Stephen King then this is the show for you. I like the suspense and horror that Harper's Island brings. It's clever and very "And Then There Were None." The premise is of a wedding party/guests sailing to Harper's Island, where 7 years ago a psycho went on a murdering spree killing several people including the main character's (Abby) mother. Abby hasn't return

As the world watched, Japan for the first time in their history won against the United States in the Women's World Cup. It was not an easy victory. For the first half USA dominated the flow of the game. Japan barely got their feet on the ball. Though US controlled the ball they missed several well set up goals, which turned out to be their downfall. The first half ended 0-0. The second half was just as intense as the first. Finally Alex Morgan in the 69th minute scored the first goal of the game. It was an amazing drive. With about 20 minutes left Japan rapidly became very aggressive. It was as if roles had reversed. US was known to be slow in the 1st half and attack in the 2nd, now Japan has turn the tables. They knew where to go and who to guard, in particular Abby Wambach and her golden forehead. They found their life line in the 81st minute with a US defense error that turned into a goal opportunity which Aya Miyama took. Overtime was twice the intensity, everyone at the

So we had a little excitement and inconvenience today (Saturday). Very early this morning I was startled awake by the sound of what I thought to be giant clanging metal trash cans. I figured that it was the cleaning truck and I went back to sleep. Now the fact that our garbage cans are plastic and trash day was Friday, didn't ready occur to me until I woke up an hour later and saw all the flashing lights of police cars and fire trucks. Now nothing had caught fire and no crime had been committed so what could have cause such a collection of lights? Several power lines had fallen all along our side of the street. The whole block had been tape off and they were not letting any vehicles in or out. I looked out the window and saw the police tape run from the no parking sign pole next door right over my car and tied up to our entrance gate. It looked like we were under house arrest or part of a crime scene. There were many wires hanging down and there were at least four wires that had

As we all gather together with family and friends enjoying great company, delicious all-american barbecue and spectacular fireworks let's reflect on what brought us here. Our country since the day of its inception has been full of dreams, ambition, spirit and pride. Seeing an injustice done to them they rebelled and fought to be free. Arming themselves with godly leadership and unsure of the outcome they marched forward and fought. Even when it seemed dim they persevered remembering what it was they were fighting for, FREEDOM. Freedom is such an important word for us. It's the foundation of our entire country. Without that desire of being independent we would have no USA. One of the definitions of freedom is: free will, the ability to make one's own choices. As a nation they willed to have a better way of life. They chose to believe that any risk was worth the sacrifice. That spirit has resonated throughout the decades. Each generation has taken upon itself an injusti

Today I celebrate 7 years of matrimonial bliss! I can't believe that we have been married for seven years, it has passed by so quickly. I would love to say that all seven years have been full of joy, laughter and a walk in the park. Nothing can be further from the truth. The first few years, in my memory, were the most unsteady and heavy learning experiences in my life. The first year of anything is always hard. You're learning new things and learning your way around. You make mistakes, learn and more on. But marriage is not quite that black and white. Our first year was a stretching year. I felt that we were stretched to almost a breaking point. The threads of our rubber band lives was on it's last thread. When I look back at the deep hole we're we started, it was only God who could have brought us where we are today. That's such a testament to God's power. There were many different interferences, both outside and inside our marriage that all piled on top

The new X-Men came out this past Friday and I began thinking about the different ways that this movie series can be a reflection of Christian life. Yes, Christian life. Just go with me for a few minutes. There are two primary messages that you get from the story lines: 1) Tolerance of one another and the events that take place because of fear and ignorance or 2) Individual gifts that God has given us and what happens when brought together for good or evil. For this particular entry I want to focus on number 2, individual gifts. Each of the mutants has a special ability that distinguishes them from everyone else. Flying, fire starting, super human strength, controlling weather, invisibility, chameleon abilities, telepathy, magnetism, and so many others. On their own they have power and can make a small difference, but when two or more gather together amazing things can happen. They learned to nurture and grow their gifts. They learn to play off and with each other. They learn to unde

This past Sunday, like most Sundays, my church has communion. It's a natural occurrence. But for some reason when pastor announced it was time for communion, I peeped out a little "YAY!" I was so excited for communion. Now don't misunderstand me, communion is very important I don't take it for granted. I really cherish the time, but for some reason that day I was overjoyed. I just really needed to have that time with God. I really needed to reflect what my past week had been. Every time I take communion I think of the words Jesus said to His disciples during the first communion, "Do this in remembrance of Me." At that moment I'm transported to Jesus' sacrifice. The pain, agony, loneliness and rejection Jesus experienced. I think of all He did for me and I can't even make it through my day without falling. When I come to this realization I'm struck with so much grief. Here I am living this beautiful life that He has given me and all He

Today is my Papi's 59th birthday. My dad and I have always been close. The bond of father and daughter is very ingrained, especially since I'm the only girl. I'm daddy's little girl. Even now at 31 and married I still think of my dad as my strong place and protector. My husband fits these roles as well but it's just different. I miss the daily interactions with my dad. I think about all the things we did when I was little. There are so many memories to chose from. He was always active with my brothers and me. Taking us to the park, hiking, biking, walking and other activities. He is full of energy and full of life. My dad has a very charismatic personality. People are generally drawn to him. God has blessed him with a trusting and charming spirit. He is a people person. We can't go anywhere, literally, and not find a person that he doesn't know. There is always someone somewhere who knows him and loves him. My dad has been working in the auto parts indu

The last day of school is always a bittersweet day. I'm so ready to have a break yet my class will never be the same again. Yes I'll have a whole new group that bring their own special flare but I will never have these students together again. I'll see most of them next year but it won't be the same the relationship. A little bit of me hopes that they think of me as their favorite. I know that's so wrong but I just don't want them to forget me. I'm proud of them and I can't wait to see how amazing they will do in the following years, I just want them to remember me. The last day is a free for all day. Practically anything goes. Shaving cream and aftershave to clean the desks (a 4th grade teacher's trick), ice cream parties, everybody's movie day, extended recesses and free play. It becomes a day of fellowship with your students. Time to sip lemonade on the back porch (figuratively speaking) and tell stories, laugh and enjoy each others company

I recently learned about a bumper sticker that states "Pray For Obama" Psalm 109:8. Well I looked up the verse and it says, "May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership." Now when I first read this I laughed. I thought it was cheeky and funny. Then I decided to read this verse in context. After I read the entire passage I felt awful. The rest of the passage reads this way. Here are a few verses: 9 May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. 10 May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven[a] from their ruined homes. 11 May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. 12 May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children. 13 May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation. 14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out. 15 May their sins always remain before th

Like most of the world I was caught up in the joy and celebration of William and Kate. A part of my background is English. My great grandfather was English. So this is a special day for me. Please don't misunderstand me, I am proud to be a Salvadorean-American. But I'm also proud to have roots of England's rich history. I am blessed to part of three worlds! So many of us have a special place in our hearts for William and Harry because they represent the very best parts of their mother Diana. Seeing William find love and committing himself to Kate a commoner (in British's eyes) is a beautiful thing. The fact that she is not royalty makes this union an even greater joy. People can see themselves in Kate. They feel that they can relate to her. She's warm, inviting and charming. William also shares these attributes which makes this couple a vision for the next generation. They are modern classics. An oxymoronic phrase but true none the less. Through out the coverag

Here I went. Tackling a favorite French pastry. Eclairs! It's takes a couple of hours, but they are so worthwhile! I found this decadent French pastry to be pretty simple to make. For anyone who knows me knows that I don't/can't (It's all in how you see it) bake. I continually made the excuses that I need a stand mixer, time and money to experiment. I finally tossed all those excuse into the garbage and took the leap. 7 Eggs, 3 cups milk, 2/3 cup sugar, butter(almost a stick), 1cup flour and a few ingredients later I had made the foundations of an eclair. During the process the kitchen smelled like BUTTER! The pate a choux rises beautifully. The custard came out silky and creamy! Then came assembly. I had to wait for the custard to cool, which took a really long next time I'm doing that a day ahead, then prepped the pastry shells for filling. When I poked the hole in the pastry I realized how hollow it was. It was so amazing to me that it puffed up i

What is Good Friday? For some it's just another Friday. For others it's a Holy day. What makes this day so different? Why do so many around the world celebrate? This is the day we remember the death of Jesus Christ. Jesus wants us to remember this day and honor it. He showed us that by sharing the first communion with the disciples. "For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread,and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes." (1 Corinthians 11:23-26) HE WANTS US TO REMEMBER. This is the day He walked bearing a heavy cross through the cobbled streets of Jerusalem. His brow bleed

A personal poem. In times like these I lose my footing Reaching out to grasp Your hand O, Lord in You my trust I'm putting Guide me through these darken woods Shine Your perfect light Lead me to Your chosen path That will make all things right In times like these I lay my head at Your feet With rolling tears down my cheek And I remember with You I'm complete I hear Your voice Sweetly, gently calling me "You are my precious child Be still in me" In times like these I battle my flesh Being torn in half with nothing left You fill my cup, I'm refreshed You wrap Your arms around me Feeling safe and secure You are my Refuge In You I will endure In times like these I look back at my past Seeing all You brought me through Learning Your love will always surpass

For the last few days I've had a song going through my head and heart. I wanted to share this beautiful song. It's by Hillsong. For those of you that don't know about Hillsong, they're a worship team out of Australia. They bring a powerful message through incredible music. The song is Hosanna. Read through it and let the words wash over you. I've attached a video so that you can get the whole effect. Enjoy! HOSANNA I see the king of glory Coming on the clouds with fire The whole earth shakes The whole earth shakes Yeeeah I see his love and mercy Washing over all our sin The people sing The people sing [Chorus] Hosanna Hosanna Hosanna in the highest [x2] I see a generation Rising up to take their place With selfless faith With selfless faith I see a near revival Stirring as we pray and seek We're on our knees We're on our knees [Chorus] Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to l

I have been teaching for 5 years. For all 5 of those years I have taught kindergarten. Anytime someone asks me what grade I teach and I say kindergarten the response is usually always the same "Aww, they are so cute. You must have fun playing all day." That assumption really gets me upset. I work hard with these kids, playing is a late afternoon event if we have time. I work at a Christian school where kindergarten is treated like all the other grades. Eight hour days, math, phonics, handwriting, oral reading, science, social studies, music, p.e. and art. Because they have such a long day they do have nap time. It amazing how much they can learn at an early age! Now in my 5th year things go a lot smoother and there is less confusion. Not to say that am on autopilot, far from it, but at least I've found my rhythm. I'm still learning, as any good teacher should, and try out new things. It has been a journey, a rocky one at that. That first year was a nightmare. I ha

I've debating for years whether or not to start up a blog. It's such a public forum. This is the place I will put down my deep thoughts or nonsensical comments. Where I will express myself without judgment or censorship. It will be my attempt to be free of all other voices and be honest to myself. I'm a quiet person by nature so I was never one for being or needing to be heard. I have always been surrounded by people who were talkative, expressive, loud and at times all about themselves (I said I was going to be honest). I've always felt that my opinion didn't matter or that my ideas weren't good enough to express. I did myself a disservice as a young person. I allowed myself to be silenced and looked upon as a wallflower that faded continually until there was nothing to be seen. There were times when I stepped out of the shadows and enjoyed the sunlight but I was always caught in an overcast. I never seem to be able to speak my mind clearly. I