Being A Child Whispherer Better Known As A Teacher- In The Beginning
I have been teaching for 5 years. For all 5 of those years I have taught kindergarten. Anytime someone asks me what grade I teach and I say kindergarten the response is usually always the same "Aww, they are so cute. You must have fun playing all day." That assumption really gets me upset. I work hard with these kids, playing is a late afternoon event if we have time. I work at a Christian school where kindergarten is treated like all the other grades. Eight hour days, math, phonics, handwriting, oral reading, science, social studies, music, p.e. and art. Because they have such a long day they do have nap time. It amazing how much they can learn at an early age!
Now in my 5th year things go a lot smoother and there is less confusion. Not to say that am on autopilot, far from it, but at least I've found my rhythm. I'm still learning, as any good teacher should, and try out new things. It has been a journey, a rocky one at that.
That first year was a nightmare. I had heard that the first year is always tough and can be overwhelming. That was an understatement! I felt like I was drowning. I didn't have the support of my administrator as a first year teacher. I always felt that I didn't meet expectations. I was doing what I could do as a first year expected to perform as a 10 year teacher. It was impossible. The group of students I had at the time were very challenging and I wasn't sure exactly what to do, I was so lost. This disorientation contributed to my STRESS! I began to have anxiety attacks before going to work. I would be in tears because I didn't want to face my class and my administrator. My heart would race, I would be nauseous and my hands would shake. I felt so defeated. I felt I had no worth.
I brought all these feelings to the Lord in prayer. When things didn't improve I began to be upset with God. Here I was in the career He wanted me and He wasn't helping, or so I thought. I spent more than half the school year in this downward spiral that only got deeper and darker as time passed. The low point came when my husband had to take me to the emergency room. The anxiety and stress had taken their toll and I was throwing up blood. The doctors then discovered a beginning ulcer, I was only 25 years old!My whole world had come crashing down and I lay crushed under the rumble. Once I returned to my job I was excused from my position. And to add insult to injury my administrator says that she thinks I don't have what it takes to be a teacher. She said I had made a mistake. I was giving another position, which I didn't understand why, but I could not be there anymore. I put in my resignation a couple of months later. I substituted for the next couple of years.
Now I'm back at the same school, under a different administrator and no ulcer worries, and really seeing God's sovereignty. As I look back, I can see God's hand in all that happened. I'm definitely not the same person I was then. I'm stronger now. I'm more confident in my abilities.I'm a better teacher. I also see that what was happening was spiritual warfare, Satan trying to take me down and stop me from doing God's work. I know now, that beyond a shadow of a doubt God created me to make a difference in this world by being a teacher. I'm here to further God's kingdom by teaching these beautiful children His truth and presenting them with the greatest gift that anyone can ever be given, JESUS. I praise Him for His faithfulness through trials and blessings!
"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalm 89:1
Now in my 5th year things go a lot smoother and there is less confusion. Not to say that am on autopilot, far from it, but at least I've found my rhythm. I'm still learning, as any good teacher should, and try out new things. It has been a journey, a rocky one at that.
That first year was a nightmare. I had heard that the first year is always tough and can be overwhelming. That was an understatement! I felt like I was drowning. I didn't have the support of my administrator as a first year teacher. I always felt that I didn't meet expectations. I was doing what I could do as a first year expected to perform as a 10 year teacher. It was impossible. The group of students I had at the time were very challenging and I wasn't sure exactly what to do, I was so lost. This disorientation contributed to my STRESS! I began to have anxiety attacks before going to work. I would be in tears because I didn't want to face my class and my administrator. My heart would race, I would be nauseous and my hands would shake. I felt so defeated. I felt I had no worth.
I brought all these feelings to the Lord in prayer. When things didn't improve I began to be upset with God. Here I was in the career He wanted me and He wasn't helping, or so I thought. I spent more than half the school year in this downward spiral that only got deeper and darker as time passed. The low point came when my husband had to take me to the emergency room. The anxiety and stress had taken their toll and I was throwing up blood. The doctors then discovered a beginning ulcer, I was only 25 years old!My whole world had come crashing down and I lay crushed under the rumble. Once I returned to my job I was excused from my position. And to add insult to injury my administrator says that she thinks I don't have what it takes to be a teacher. She said I had made a mistake. I was giving another position, which I didn't understand why, but I could not be there anymore. I put in my resignation a couple of months later. I substituted for the next couple of years.
Now I'm back at the same school, under a different administrator and no ulcer worries, and really seeing God's sovereignty. As I look back, I can see God's hand in all that happened. I'm definitely not the same person I was then. I'm stronger now. I'm more confident in my abilities.I'm a better teacher. I also see that what was happening was spiritual warfare, Satan trying to take me down and stop me from doing God's work. I know now, that beyond a shadow of a doubt God created me to make a difference in this world by being a teacher. I'm here to further God's kingdom by teaching these beautiful children His truth and presenting them with the greatest gift that anyone can ever be given, JESUS. I praise Him for His faithfulness through trials and blessings!
"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalm 89:1
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